


Time To Begin

by jungle_ride



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode Fix-it, F/M, Gen, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:00:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24270967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jungle_ride/pseuds/jungle_ride
Summary: AU 3.01 Things go differently.“I have magic too!”Morgana flinches at his sudden outburst, stepping backwards in surprise.
Relationships: Merlin/Morgana (Merlin)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 244





	Time To Begin

“Woman and children are dying; the city will fall!” As if heeding his words the walls shake, stone crumbling and falling to the floor clouding them in the rubble. Is this what’s become of them?  
  
“Good” Morgana glares at him, lips twisted and gritted teeth bared in a parody of a smile. She is un-recognisable from the Morgana he once knew.  
  
Deep inside Merlin knows he should’ve been prepared for this. The signs had been there and yet he’d truly believed everything was going to be alright. Even now, though she’s unleashed an army of the dead, Merlin clings to the hope he carries.  
  
“No, you don’t mean that.” He’s not sure which of them he’s trying to convince. Merlin’s not really expecting her to back down yet, if at all, but something in his voice, or face, must have done something right because for second her mask falters.  
  
“I have magic Merlin.” Her eyes glint in the darkness and Merlin can see the struggle in them, the constant tug and pull she feels with her powers.  
  
“Uther hates me and everyone like me, why should I feel any differently about him?” Her words are laced with anger but mostly it’s just pain. Merlin’s heart clenches tightly.  
  
Morgana and Uther’s relationship had always been a turbulent one, but beneath it all there’d been affection. Now Morgana was trapped in the knowledge that the warmth could disappear, swiftly replaced by the darkness of death with just a single revelation. Magic would divide Uther and Morgana forever. There was no going back.  
  
Only Merlin’s not so sure.  
  
He’d seen the worry on Uther’s face when she’d suffered from Edwin’s false illness. Had watched for a year as he’d searched frantically for her whereabouts, the dark circles under his eyes had not left until her return. Uther loved her; there was no doubt. Perhaps this love could redeem him. It’s these thoughts that prompt Merlin to speak.  
  
“You of all people could change Uther’s mind, Morgana.”  
  
Morgana tilts her head slightly; her eyes narrowing in slight surprise at the newfound sharpness in Merlin’s voice. Merlin ignores her and continues.  
  
“But doing this, using magic like this, will only harden his heart.” He’s so desperate for her to understand, he’s almost shouting.  
  
“You don’t have magic Merlin, how could you hope to understand?” Morgana mocks. Merlin grits his teeth, frustration gurgling inside of him, turning his stomach.  
  
“I _do_ understand, believe me.”

Morgana’s eyes spark as he takes a step towards her, warning him not to come any closer. _I have magic!_ Merlin screams wordlessly as he tries and fails to say it out loud. He wonders if Morgana was less self obsessed in this moment would she realise the clues he’s been leaving her. The struggle is evident; she’s just too blind to see it.  
  
“If I had your gifts I’d harness them for good! That’s what magic should be for, that’s why you were born with these powers.” Merlin hopes his words will make her pause long enough for her to see how wrong this all is. Morgana seems unmoved though, and Merlin struggles to remain patient with the sounds of metal clashing against metal and cries from above reaching his ears.  
  
“You don’t know what it’s like to be on outsider, to be ashamed for how you were born, to have to hide who you are,” She stalks toward him as she speaks, her frown transforming slightly as her anger gives way to pain once more. Merlin stands his ground, twitching at her final words. Unable to take anymore he blurts out the one thing he should most conceal.  
  
“I have magic too!”  
  
Morgana flinches at his sudden outburst, stepping backwards in surprise. For a second her eyes flash with confusion but she soon composes herself, lips curling upwards in a disbelieving sneer. She sees it as a lie. The last act of a desperate man. The latter was correct.  
  
Merlin’s skin prickles, heart pounding furiously. This is the moment. Another forked road stretches before him but which path should he take? The figure before him bares a resemblance to the woman he once knew, but the shadows dancing across her features shatter the image. The poison she now has in her voice is not entirely his doing, but he can’t help but feel he’s the one that dripped it down her throat.  
  
Yet despite all the events that have brought them to this moment; her actions of cruelty, his own actions of death, Merlin cannot believe that the Morgana, who would risk her own life to save his village, is unreachable. Her year away has changed her, but he hopes not irrevocably. Taking a deep breath he says a silent prayer before allowing his eyes to flash gold and a small ball of light to appear in the palm of his hand.  
  
Morgana’s intake of breath is sharp, cutting through him forcefully. Her mask has disappeared entirely; all emotions are on display. Shock and surprise register the most dominant. Merlin licks his lips, throat dry as fear travels along his skin leaving goosebumps.  
  
The world spins by slowly. Morgana frowns and stares, blue eyes shining in the light of his magic. Merlin can almost see her brain working feverishly as she manoeuvres pieces of the puzzle, rearranging her entire perception of him. Swallowing the lump in his throat Merlin speaks with a voice rough and quiet.  
  
“It’s lonely, to be…” he pauses, contemplating his next words. He keeps his eyes lowered, trained on the shimmering light in his palm, afraid to look at her. Morgana’s gaze flickers between the sphere of magic and his face, watching intently. For the first time in a long time she’s actually listening.  
  
“…more powerful than any man you know and have to live like a shadow,” Lifting his gaze, Merlin’s eyes connect with Morgana’s. Her soft eyes and slightly parted lips encourage him to continue.  
  
“To be confused, scared. Afraid that the truth will turn love to hate; friends to enemies. To be special and have to pretend you’re a fool.” Morgana, unbeknownst to Merlin, whose gaze has reverted back onto the stone floor, had started taking steps in his direction, she pauses now halted by his speech.  
  
Morgana’s thoughts fly to the many attempts by others to destroy Camelot, and she wonders now if Merlin had been working behind the scenes all along…no she doesn’t wonder… she _knows_. They were both born with magic, yet Merlin had taken a much different path. He’d been saving them all along, never once receiving recognition. Morgana licks her lips, arms hanging loosely by her side as the icy exterior she’d wrapped herself in the last year starts to thaw.  
  
As if stepping away from the past Morgana moves towards him once more. It isn’t until she reaches up and covers his hand with her own, that Merlin knows she’s gotten so close. His eyes glance at their joined hands. The ball of magic dissolves between their connected skin. Morgana’s eyes are wet, emotion overcoming her. To his own surprise Merlin feels dampness on his own cheeks.  
  
“I know how it feels, I understand.” Merlin’s final words fall out on a whispered breath. They stare at each for a long moment, the faint sparks of his earlier magic still running between their connected bodies.  
  
Pulling back, Morgana lowers her hand as she heaves a sigh. She wets her lips and swallows a few times before she’s able to find her voice.  
  
“You poisoned me?” It’s barely a whisper but it rings in Merlin ears like a bell.  
  
“I didn’t want to."

Morgana’s face twitches; it’s not enough of an explanation and Merlin knows as much. Only he doesn’t know where or how to start, but he doesn’t have a choice or a second to loose.  
  
“You were the source of the magic,” he begins.  
  
“I didn’t know, at the time.”  
  
Merlin nods, eyes softening. He’d know that the moment he’d turned to see her gasping for breath. Her eyes were too clouded with confusion. The betrayal had been too strong. He can still feel her against him, struggling as she took her dying breaths.  
  
“I’m sorry; I’m _so sorry_ but if I hadn’t Camelot would have fallen.”  
  
Scowling Morgana shakes her head.  
  
“But that would have set us _free_ ; we wouldn’t have to hide anymore. You should join us Merlin.”  
  
Morgana reaches for him gripping onto his wrist, eyes brimming with determination and longing. Merlin’s heart leaps at the _‘us’_ and _‘we’_ , but he shakes his head at her other words.  
  
“No Morgana, I can’t. It’s not the way it should be.”  
  
Pursing her lips Morgana grips onto him tighter, pulling him closer to her body; closer to her cause.  
  
“But don’t you see Uther’s death is our salvation.”  
  
Merlin shakes his head once more, slowly this time.  
  
“ _Arthur_ is our way to freedom.” He speaks with such surety it makes Morgana contemplate the idea, something she’d never done before. With Morgause the focus had always been to destroy Uther and Camelot; they’d never discussed Arthur. Truth be told, Morgana hadn’t given him a thought. She’d been too wrapped up in Uther and magic to think of anything else.  
  
Her fingers are still wrapped around Merlin’s skin, fingernails gripping him tightly as she fights with her thoughts. In the end she says what she thinks Morgause would and tries to ignore the way it tastes on her lips, sour.  
  
“He’s Uther’s son, he’s been brought up to think magic is evil.”  
  
Merlin lips break into a small smile; Morgana looks back curiously, wondering what it’s for.  
  
“So were you.”  
  
Morgana’s next words catch in her throat.  
  
“Arthur’s not his father. Look at how many times he’s defied him.” Merlin covers Morgana’s hand with his, patting it a few times. Morgana’s fingers relax slightly.  
  
“Arthur will unite the land and revive magic but if he sees his father killed and his kingdom fall by magic’s misuse, it will harden him, build too many walls.”  
  
“How do you know this? How can you be sure?” Morgana challenges, voice unsure. She wants to believe, she truly does, but a year of planning the desecration of what had been her home is not easy to forget.  
  
“The same way you know. I’ve seen it in him.”  
  
Drawing her bottom lip through her teeth, Morgana looks around the catacombs; she sees the broken bits of rubble below her feet and for the first time the cries of the innocent, screaming in panic, reach her previously deafened ears. She images Arthur fighting above her, bloody and bruised yet sword still in hand. The numbers are against him but still he continues, on and on. There is greatness in him. He is a better man than his father, hadn’t she been the one to say it?  
  
Another image flashes before her eyes, a woman sitting upon a horse watching the battle below, hair like sunshine blowing in the night wind. Her sister. She was counting on her. Morgana drops Merlin’s wrist suddenly, eyes clouded, body torn.  
  
“I can’t betray Morgause.”  
  
Merlin skin prickles in newfound coldness. Pausing for a moment, he racks his brain for a suitable response. They’re building bridges but they are still new and delicate, one wrong move and it all comes crashing down for good.  
  
“I’m not asking you to.” It’s not entirely true but the situation is tricky. It all depends on perception.  
  
“No?” Morgana doesn’t look at him as she speaks, voice breaking.  
  
“I’m just asking you to realise that it doesn’t have to be like this.”  
  
“Doesn’t it Merlin?” Morgana’s arm wraps around her own waist. Her eyes are clouding over once more as the two parts of her fight for dominance. There has always been this battle within herself. Only she can decide what she will become.  
  
Merlin recalls the words of the Dragon. _The darkness to your light, the hated to your love._ There’s a part of him that accepts that, willing the rest of him to comply. Merlin sighs; that was part of the problem. Throughout their relationship he’d been listing to other’s opinions and predictions. The Dragon, Gaius. They’d warned him off telling Morgana, from helping her. His own doubt had done the same, and so he’d left her alone. Look where that had gotten them.  
  
He was done with doubt and suspicion. This time, he was listening to his heart. He’d seen her kindness, the love in her. They’d created her evil, edged it into her, day by day as they let her drown in a river of her fears. Well, not anymore. Merlin reaches out for her hand, clasping it tightly; thankful when Morgana doesn’t struggle.  
  
“We can find another way, _together_.”  
  
Morgana’s lips part slightly as she breathes in deeply. Rubbing his thumb across her skin in soft circular motions Merlin waits, eyes pleading. Merlin feels, hopes and fears, this moment will decide everything. Whether the world lives or dies. Maybe it’s just his world he is referring to. Letting his lips tug into what he hopes is a reassuring smile, he waits.  
  
Morgana studies him carefully for a long moment. She glances at their joined hands, licks and bites at her lip until the taste of iron taints her tongue. Then suddenly without warning she moves slowly, very slowly. Stepping aside she exposes the magical staff. Merlin raises his eyebrow questionably. Does this mean what he thinks it does, what he hopes for? The slight inclination of her head gives him his answer.  
  
Cautiously, still in disbelief he moves past her. He doesn’t let go of her though, their joined hands stretch out between the empty spaces between them, filling it. Merlin lifts the sword hung loosely in his other hand. He glances quickly over his shoulder at Morgana, who is watching intently, her expression sombre but earnest in her desire for him to complete the deed, before swinging the sword down. With one swoop Merlin cuts through the past and into the future.  
  
There’s a brilliant flash of light as the staff breaks in two with a resounding crack; instinctively both Merlin and Morgana throw their arms up over their faces, shielding their eyes. It’s not long before the flash dissolves and their vision returns. They both stare at the wrecked source of power. Merlin turns when he hears Morgana let out an expulsion of air, sliding down onto the floor, her legs stretched out, back pressed against one of the stone tombs.  
  
Merlin leaves the sword with the broken staff, he has no need for it now and sits beside her. He’s emotionally drained and knows Morgana must be feeling the same, even more so than him.  
  
“Where do we go from here?” It’s Morgana who speaks first, voice tired. Merlin kicks at a piece of rubble.  
  
“Forward?” It’s more of a question than a statement, his insecurity evident in the tone of his voice. Morgana sneaks a quick glance at his face before nodding her head.  
  
“But I need to go back too, I need to…”  
  
“Understand.” Merlin completes her sentence, offering her a smile of a considerate nature. Morgana lips slide upwards ever so slightly, it’s not quite a smile but it’s enough. For now.  
  
The sound of triumphant cheers float down to surround them. Although Merlin feels relief that Morgana has at least given him a chance, he knows there is still so much more to say, questions still to be asked and answered. Trust to restore, bridges to build; it was going to take time. However, when Morgana suddenly plops her head onto his shoulder and closes her eyes in contentment when he rests his cheek against her hair in response, Merlin senses that the worst of the battle is over.


End file.
